004. Wondering While Wandering—June '23
Thoughts while caring for the sick and being sick
Bearing Sickness, Carrying Pain
It’s one of the immutable laws of universe that as soon as one member of a household gets sick, the rest of the family will inevitably get the same illness. It’s just how the world works. The sky is blue, gravity pulls objects down, and illness spreads inexorably through a household.
Being sick is never fun. Being sick with two little kids is a nightmarish slog. The first domino fell last week when our youngest vomited. Naively (or wishfully) we assumed it was just something that he had eaten. But then Lauren went down with it. Then our oldest. At one point I was left alone to care for all of them as the only healthy one.
Then I went down with it too.
Thankfully by that point Lauren had recovered enough that we could tag team caring for the (mostly recovered) boys, taking shifts when one of us was feeling not quite as terrible and teaming up when we were both feeling low.
In that brief period when I was the only healthy one and was caring for the rest of the family, I couldn’t help but think of Christ caring for us in our infirmities. Because I wanted to be able to care for everyone well enough. I wanted to be able to heal them by whatever means at my disposal—medicine, food and water, love. I even wanted to take their illness myself if it meant that they would be healed.
I of course did take on the same illness they had. But my taking it on did not remove it from the rest of the family. It didn’t heal them. It just made it more difficult to care for them. I lacked the ability to do what I desired and was leveled by the same sickness they were.
In A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis describes coming to this point in his anticipatory grief at the loss of his wife during her terminal illness and follows it with his observation about Christ’s response when we come to this point of wishing we could take the pain of others instead of them:
And then one babbles—‘If only I could bear it, or the worst of it, or any of it, instead of her’…[Christ] replies to our babble, ‘You cannot and you dare not. I could and dared.’
“You cannot and you dare not.” Even at my most sacrificial, my most loving, my most self-giving, there are limits to what I could give, do, or give up for those that I love. I cannot. And there are similar limits to what I would want to give even if I had the power. I dare not.
But not so with Christ.
“I could and dared.” Christ not only had the power and ability but also had the love and desire to bear our sicknesses and carry our pains himself (Isaiah 53:4, CSB). And by his wounds we are healed (1 Peter 2:24).
We’re all on the mend now and the worst of this illness is past. I’ll be grateful when it’s completely gone. But I’m also thankful for the reminder of the One who can and dares to do what I cannot and dare not, who heals and bore what I cannot heal or bear.
Funnies
Kid Corner
Reading, Listening, or Watching
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds—SNW is back for season two! We’ve enjoyed the first two episodes and love being back on the Enterprise with this crew. The ensemble is especially strong in this show and they’re getting some more much-deserved focus so far in this season.
Star Trek: Discovery—season 2 of Discovery is where the Strange New Worlds crew debuted, so we’re watching it to get even more of them in the time between new episodes.
Single Parents—we’re getting close to the end of the second season and so we’re trying to savor it since this is sadly the final season: there won’t be any more to enjoy once we finish. Still making our way through it and loving each episode.
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse—spectacular! although it’s really only half of a movie (the conclusion will come in next year’s Beyond the Spider-Verse), it was a worthy follow-up on and expansion of Into the Spider-Verse (which is an amazing movie as well! Easily one of the top comic book movies of all time, which I was reminded of as we rewatched it in preparation for seeing the sequel in theaters). Highly recommended.
Thank you as always for reading and caring. What are you enjoying, reading, watching, learning, etc?