The Saturday after Thanksgiving this year I had turkey soup simmering on the stove while I washed dishes and listened to music. But the music wasn’t loud enough to drown out the cries of delight and squeals of laughter coming from the other room: the boys were playing with Mama and each other while they waited for the leftovers to be transfigured into yet another meal.
It wasn’t a perfect holiday by far. It’s the first one without my brother, Joey. And the past few days have had their frustrating moments and disappointments. Even the dinner immediately following this moment of contemplation and enjoyment was a difficult one filled with babies screaming and flashes of exasperation on my part. And it was not particularly restful holiday either: the fact is that time “off” with young kids is most often not any more restful than a regular workweek. You’re working just as hard (or harder!) than any other week; you’re just not sitting at the desk in the (home) office.
But nonetheless, as I stood and tended to the soup and did the dishes, I was reminded of the truth that these are the good old days. The days that I’ll look back on and remember with a smile and a sigh. The pitter patter of little feet. The laughter and shrieks of joy. Homemade food. Time as a family. Myriad reasons to be thankful.
The frustration and the exhaustion and all the rest of what I see as imperfections are simply part of a life that is full, blessed, and good. I often forget this outlook in the moment. But occasionally, the larger perspective comes crashing back in and I am reminded to cherish the richness of today.
So I am thankful. And I will try to simply be present in these times, not waiting for them to pass but savoring them like a slow sip of homemade soup on a chilly, overcast day. These are the good old days, the delicious times. I don’t want to miss them.
Funnies
If you haven’t seen the SNL skit this tweet is based on, Washington’s Dream, you really should. One of the best in years.
Every night after putting the boys to bed:
Who knew Spock had half-man hands?
Reading, Listening, or Watching
5 Ways to Celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas—Lauren and I have discussed a shared desire to not just celebrate Christmas in a way that completely focuses on and embraces the commercialization of the holiday. I was happy to read this article then about ways to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas (that begin with Christmas Day).
Grief, Resilience, Nick Cave, Hibernation, and Link Love—I really resonated with the short opening essay in this recent edition of
by , which shows a deep awareness of and familiarity with grief.[Grief] crushes us and then it gets crushed and then becomes a part of us and then becomes a part of others and eventually we don’t know its absence so much anymore but we reap the fruit of its presence for eternity, a cycle of life, strangely, made up entirely of death.
The Hidden Seasons of Grief—A moving piece on how grief lingers, ebbs, flows…and may just be best treated by acknowledging that it’s there and sharing with a close friend.
At times the grief is sweet and helps me remember the beautiful gift of a mother who loved me unconditionally. Oh, how well she loved me! But at other times the grief is so crushing as to take my breath away. My body shudders and my heart breaks and sometimes I even swoon a little, all because the motion of tying a child’s shoelace, or the smell of vanilla, or a particular sort of warm breeze has reminded me of the staggering vulnerability that is loss.
That’s all for this Wondering While Wandering! Thank you as always for reading and caring.
For discussion: what are you enjoying, reading, watching, learning, etc?
Thank you for the share =)
Two pieces by Dixie!! Goodness, having in real life conversations with her in Madison back in October was delightful. She's got true big sister energy, and that comes through in so much of her (prolific) writing. Glad you've enjoyed some of it, particularly on grief.